One family's solution to the problem with video games
Costas Stavrou
and his wife Lorraine have two sons, aged 11 and 14. Like
most boys their age, the Stavrou brothers enjoy playing
video games. Unlike most parents, Costas and Lorraine impose
limits on their kids' game playing time. Each day the boys
are allowed to play video games for a half hour. To earn
an additional half hour of playing time, each boy has to
read a book for at least 15 minutes.
It's not just the amount of time spent on video games that
concerns Costas and Lorraine. They make sure the boys play
age-appropriate games as well. Usually this means that the
boys play sports games.
Before these ground rules were in place, the Stavrous saw
video games having an enormous and alarming impact on their
kids. The boys seemed to have "different personalities"
after playing video games. Even after a short amount of
playing time, the boys became irritable, unresponsive and,
sometimes, aggressive-and this personality shift could last
for hours. Costas says it was like they were "living
in the game."
"Once we let them get a fighting game," says Costas.
"After we made them turn it off, my younger son was
karate chopping everything in sight. He was acting out everything
he'd seen in the game." If they had been allowed to
do so, says Costas, his sons would have played the game
all day long.
Once the parents put rules in place, the boys' personality
shifts weren't as intense. But then the arguments began.
When a half hour was up and Lorraine or Costas said it was
time to turn off the game, the boys would beg for more time
to "save" their game, or insist that it hadn't
really been that long. Not only was it difficult to keep
game time within the limit, the unpleasant aftermath almost
made the limits worthless for the parents.
Costas decided he and Lorraine needed some help. So he invented
a device that automatically imposed the playing time limit.
Now when a half hour is up, the game is shut off. The boys
are warned when their time is nearly complete, so they know
it's time to save their progress in the game. Costas says
it gives his boys some responsibility in monitoring their
own playing time, and it gives Lorraine and him "peace
of mind." Best of all, the arguments have stopped.
The boys understand that no amount of lobbying will convince
the device to allow them more game time.
Costas' invention is not yet available for other families,
but he hopes it soon will be. In the mean time, parents
can follow his example and make sure their children play
appropriate games and impose limits on game time. The sooner
children understand that the limits are consistent, the
sooner the arguments will stop. I've talked to many parents
who describe a similar problem with video games, altered
behavior, and arguments. I'm glad I can tell them there
are people trying to do something about it.
David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the
MediaWise Movement, a program of National Institute on Media
and the Family (www.mediafamily.org).
He has written seven books and is a frequent guest on national
radio and television.
